WHERE?

Lately, I realize something new and something strange. I don't know if it is reliable or not but this one I can deny not. I tried shaking it off my mind and it won't go. I did not see this coming. I did not see this happening. I don't know if in the process I am aware or not. But this something I really don't entirely see coming to me this time in unexpected way. I don't know if I like it. But I do.

What started to be just ordinary years back I did not see could affect me this way. Am I over analyzing? Or I'm already caught? I smile at the thought of writing this. She's a good friend. So kind, so thoughtful, so fun to be with, just every friend you could ask for. I enjoyed her company. I know she enjoys too. She knows all my secrets, my frustrations, she listens to every little silly details, she knows my dreams, she knows my plans, she doesn't complain, she bears all through, she doesn't object, she is amazing. I think she loves me telling her all that's in my mind, all my life.

Along the way, we hit a hard road! A very hard road that almost changed it all. Unguarded, immature, reckless, giving into. Our road must separate. It did! We lived lives on different sides of the world. Totally unknown, shut down, drowned. We both conceded for what is right. Counting days, counting weeks, counting months. Though totally silent yet I know never forgotten. She crosses my mind more than a dozen times. But I choose to shake it off. Maybe there is a new life for us both apart from each other. Life must go on. Life must roll. Cherish the second chance. There must be something different.

Life after the hard road finally found a safer harbor. The world we lived in is but just small. Common friends, common spheres common interest. Life could never stretch us both apart into total oblivion. So situation brought us closer again. So we saw the silent moments taught us. We saw time healed. Time changes things. The hard road did not really yield an irreversible effect. But it really did not change what we have for each other after all. We were still the same friends. I still enjoy her company. And I know she does too. I love her. She loves someone else!

Another hard road! I was insensitive I know I become in the years past. I was selfish and I was reckless. So someone came into the picture. She got her eyes to someone else. At first, it really did not bother me at all-atleast emotionally. Aside from the fact that she really had a very, very bad pick! Laughing through her choice I found something inside of me strange. Could this be I am losing my guards. Why does it pain me like an arrow into my chest? This is crazy! I become overly affected.

Her plans met few challenges enough at least for her to have it all halted. Will she forever stay with me or again leave for i dont know? From here the story gets blurry. I know the idea of us being together now is not atleast the best. What will be the next part of this story? Where will our friendship lead? Only time can tell. Only heaven knows. For now I have to be satisfied with the idea that The Lord will lead us closer to His will. Atleast make it right this time. For now, I watch the clock click time out to reveal where this more than five years of friendship find its place in our lives. At least for now,

this time....I have something for her. I'm fine.

Where does the road meet for both of us?