Probably the most difficult moments in life a person could ever experience. I'm not talking about having ice cream, buying a lollipop or turning to your favorite channel. It's more than that. Probably the most harsh tension you face helplessly. When the best move to do for the moment is to do nothing at all. When you watch it fall apart not knowing whether its gonna fall back in place someday. When you make an unpopular decision not for the benefit of the current want but to invest for a certain future. When I watch you hurt and I can't do anything to put back your mirth. Who can understand? Mine is to take the blame for the moment. Call me selfish. Call me coward. Call me insensitive. Call me weak. You just don't know how much strength is required to take this stake.
No assurance. Uncertainty. Broken heart. Regrets and Fear. Who wants to live these life? This keeps me clinging that in all these I see a God that is certain. I'll take the high road.I'll obey Him. Take it slow. Take time to grow. I watch you go perhaps never return. Live your own life perhaps I'll be forgotten. This price I pay for you is dear. Because one day I want to let you know you are indeed very dear. I fought for you in silence, in prayer, in patience, that God will make you whole until that day I may have all the courage to say it all. There are days I dream of you with me doing life together, forever. That day may come or may come never. In God I trust for He is the giver.My only incentive is that as long as I have God I can go on another day. He owns my heart and in Him I fully trust. He is still the number 1. I'm sorry. I have to obey him. I rushed too many times in life to commit mistakes. I don't want this to happen with me and you. This time its time to wait.You watch me, Im okay. But deep inside there's a lot of words I want to say. This time I have to keep it at bay. And maybe someday...it's gonna make sense...with you all the way.
